the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
