I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
