I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
