why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
