I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize