I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
