No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
