did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
