We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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