if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
