But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
