So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
