Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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