well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
