Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
