it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
