Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
