Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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