It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
