Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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