Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize