great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
