its not stalking. its research.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize