She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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