Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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