His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
