Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
