In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
