Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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