her vagine was all disorganized.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
