You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
