Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
