I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Can you bring me the toilet please
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
