she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
