billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
worst night to have a conscience
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
