Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
