I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
