Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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