What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
