I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
