i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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