it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
