It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
send nudes
from the living room?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
