I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Still dying that you shit outside
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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