yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize