Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
