Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
