problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
