i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize