Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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