So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
