well I can't set my house on fire every night
no you cant smoke seaweed
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
