You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
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