I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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