Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
