Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
