You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
