doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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