Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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