Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
