everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
