My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
