My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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