Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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